Guilt

From Hurt to Healing: Guilt
It is the second Sunday of Lent—the 40 day season that we observe before Easter. Lent is usually a time of reflection and repentance and contemplation as we prepare for Easter. It’s a time when we work at getting rid of all of things in our lives that keep us from fully celebrating Easter. As our observance of Lent here at Sheridan-Norway UMC, our series is “From Hurt to Healing” and we are joining Jesus on this journey to confront those broken & fragile places in our lives that keep us from fully recognizing the power of Easter. Ultimately, because we do know the full story, we know of the hope and healing that we have from Jesus Christ. That’s why Sundays are not included in the 40 days of Lent—because we recognize those as “mini-Easters.”
Along this journey, we are working through different themes & topics related to being hurt or hurting others. Our final goal will get us to healing. Now, for some your hurts may be too great to consider yourself healed of them after 6 weeks, but hopefully you will have some tools and a beginning to work towards healing. As we continue on this journey each week in our worship service, there will be opportunities for a physical response or action. We have our suitcase up here…Because when you go on a journey or on a trip, you need to pack and so that’s what we’re doing. We’re filling our suitcase with all of the things that are keeping us from going completely on this journey. Because Lent is a time of giving things up in order to make room for Easter, we’ll be putting those kinds of things in our suitcase. For the next few weeks, you’ll still have opportunities to help fill our suitcase as we open it up every Sunday—so even if you’re not ready today to put anything in there—a physical object or writing it down, there will still be opportunities to do that. The things that you write down may be things that you want to stop doing to yourself or to others—like, “I want to stop escaping the world through TV” or a hurt that you want to work at giving up—like, “My parent never supported me and made me feel like a failure.” Whatever your hurt is, write it on this piece of paper and put it in an envelope with your name on the front. We will unpack our suitcase with all of our hurts things that have kept us from going on this journey with Jesus on Easter morning.
The journey that we take from hurt to healing will lead us through some difficult places—last week we looked at shame…Shame is not guilt as shame is something that those who are victims or the sinned against feel because something has been done to you against your will or without your consent. This morning, we will explore what shame is not…Guilt.
I’m going to tell you something that might be news to a few people…We all sin…I know for some that is hard to believe! Or at least there are some people in this world who act like it…It’s true—we all sin…we all do things that we’re not supposed to…Whether we’re aware of it or not, we do things that keep us from God. That may be to God directly or indirectly by hurting people. Guilt is our awareness of having done wrong or committed sin. In his book, From Hurt to Healing, Andrew Sung Park identifies the different dimensions of guilt… there is legal, ethical and religious guilt. Legal guilt is responsibility for crimes—It’s not okay to rob a bank…Ethical guilt is a moral accountability—“Drinking for alcoholics is legal, yet it may cause moral guilt for them.” Religious guilt concerns our obligations before God & our neighbor…Saying an insult under our breath may not be legally or ethically wrong, but can be religiously wrong. With these dimensions of guilt, there is also appropriate guilt & inappropriate guilt.
Andrew Sung Park calls appropriate guilt, “the offenders’ awareness of their offence, crime, sin, & failure of duty.” And “true guilt is guilt at the remorseful awareness we have for our offence and the obligation we owe to ourselves to be our best selves.” There are times when we can rationalize something we’ve done to make it seem okay or make ourselves feel better about what we’ve done. Guilt is that awareness that we’ve done something wrong and we feel bad about it.
The Christian concept of guilt engages three concepts: responsibility, blameworthiness, & obligation. Responsibility means that we have the power to use our freedom to make ethical decisions and are therefore held responsible for our conduct. I can have the choice to hit another person, but will be held responsible for what I do. Blameworthiness means that our actions and attitudes deserve penalty or punishment. If I choose to hit that person, I may be put in time out as a child or arrested for assault as an adult. Obligation is a trespass made good through payment or compensation. The person that I hit may require I pay for their medical treatment or repair any damage to their personal items.
Guilt can pressure us to confess…Maybe there’s something that we think we’ve gotten away with, but we feel bad about what we’ve done…No one knows that I hit that other car, but you can see the damage on the car and I feel bad for it…So my guilt can cause me to confess so that my error can be forgiven or punished. Once guilt is confessed, it can be alleviated. There are several steps in this process: admitting my fault, taking responsibility for my actions, and make up for my wrongs.
The song Amazing Grace was written in response to the trading of slaves. Rev. John Newton was convicted of his sins and responsibility in the trading of slaves that he fought against the British government with William Wilberforce to end slavery. Through this struggle of guilt and redemption, Rev. Newton understood God’s grace. Watch this clip from the movie, Amazing Grace. (Clip)…Rev. Newton admitted his fault in the slave trade and what he had done—in this clip, he talked about not respecting the names of the African slaves. He weeps at what he knows has been done and what he did…And he wrote a song to share with others—to make them feel the guilt that slavery is wrong…He begins to make up for where he has sinned.
Inappropriate guilt causes us to blame ourselves and to look at ourselves in a negative way. There may be something that we are not guilty of in any way shape or form, but we feel guilty or we misplace our guilt. This is sometimes called survivor’s guilt…Robert Maddalone, a firefighter in Brooklyn said this after September 11, “I’m thankful I’m alive, but I feel guilty I’m alive. I’m trying to remember the guys who aren’t here. Their wives & children. It’s a hollow feeling. You try to laugh sometimes to keep your sanity, but you feel bad about laughing.”
Other forms of inappropriate guilt make us believe that we are not really guilty of anything, but in reality we have really hurt others…It’s how we justify our actions… “Well, I wouldn’t have hit you if you just would have done things right.” Or “Well, they did it to me first!” Those who share in this kind of guilt will deny their guilt when confronted because they think they’ll be let off the hook.
In our Gospel lesson from Mark, Peter tries to make Jesus feel guilty…Jesus talks very openly and honestly about the fact that the Son of Man will suffer and die in order to be raised again. Peter thinks that this can’t possibly be something that would happen to Jesus…So, Peter pulls Jesus aside and begins to rebuke him…Peter pulls Jesus aside and tells him that he’s wrong! Now, we look at Jesus much differently than Peter did at that moment…We know that everything Jesus said came to be and Peter doesn’t know that at this moment…But seriously, can you imagine pulling Jesus aside and yelling at him, telling him he’s wrong?!? That’s exactly what Peter does! And he does it because he wants Jesus to understand the guilt that he should feel…Jesus shouldn’t be telling lies or things that are not true! He should be working at overthrowing the government not being killed by it! Jesus doesn’t take this very well and doesn’t accept the guilt that Peter is trying to give him…Instead, he rebukes Peter…He yells at Peter and says, “Get behind me Satan! You are setting your mind on human things instead of divine things!” Instead of accepting Peter’s inappropriate guilt, Jesus tells Peter that he’s the one that’s wrong. And even gives Peter the steps that he needs to remove his guilt…Set his mind on divine things and give up his life…Because those who lose their life for Jesus’ sake & for the sake of the Gospel will gain it…As we know Peter’s story—there were times that Peter was really good at that and there were times that Peter fell short again…
The letter the Ephesians hits on the guilt that we have as sinners…But just as Rev. John Newton said in the clip from Amazing Grace, there are 2 things I can remember—I am a great sinner and Christ is a great savior. By God’s grace, we have been forgiven…That’s not to say that we don’t have to atone for our transgressions against one another…God forgives you if you ask for it, but you must also ask forgiveness of the brother or sister that you have hurt…But the grace that you have received is free…You can’t do anything to earn grace--- the very definition of grace is free, unmerited love. You can’t earn more grace or do anything to pay God back for what God has done! If you think that you can, you will be disappointed over and over again and feel the shame of failure for not living up to the expectations you may have of yourself. God’s grace is not earned…But because of the grace that you have been given, you share that message with others. You help others to know that grace for themselves! Like the song Amazing Grace…There’s nothing in there that points directly to slavery, but it does point to the sins that we all commit. We are all convicted by our own sins and our own guilts to recognize God’s grace that redeems us…God’s grace which pulls us from the broken places and helps us to become the best self that we can possibly be…The person that God created us to be…That’s what grace does! Oh it is amazing…And we share it with others not to force them to feel guilty, but to help others understand that God is a great God who offers this to us…That those who lose their life will save it…That God loves us with a love that we cannot imagine…Amazing Grace!
As we join on this Lenten Journey, the song from Chris Tomlin, Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone) will play and if you have something to pack away on this journey, you may bring it forward to place in the suitcase and you can also take this opportunity to pray at the altar. After the song has ended, we will sing together the 2nd verse of Amazing Grace.